Maybe you know Amyl and the Sniffers as the band that flipped off Agro the puppet at the ARIAs. Maybe you know them for Dec Martens’ tough pub-punk leads, Amy Taylor’s cut-snake vocals or Bryce Wilson’s stampeding drums.
In punk circles, the band’s bassist, Gus Romer, is known for his caustic bass tones – a gravelled gargle that will define a generation of aspirational pub rock bassists. Outside the world of punk, though, he is known increasingly as Melbourne’s leading authority on flavoured milk; a cutthroat critic with a sharp tongue and an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. And dairy.
“To be honest I wasn’t really allowed much flavoured [milk] growing up, but on my birthday my mum would buy me a two-litre of strawberry milk every year,” Romer recalls. “But when I moved to Melbourne the boys in my band were always running it and that’s how my interest kind of started.”
Publishing semi-regularly from @outofmilkm8 on Instagram, Romer is is seeing support for his biting critique peaking alongside a spike in limited-edition flavoured milks from the industry’s biggest players: a lactic arms race escalating at pace in the cold aisles and refrigerator cases of Australian supermarkets.
“They have definitely been firing it up over the past few years,” says Romer of the flavour war, “or at least that’s when I started paying attention to it. I think there’s no other country that I’ve been to that has a milk culture anywhere close to Australia’s. In terms of the wild promos that have been popping up, I think it’s a bit of competition between the big dogs in milk to see who can have the most out-there flavours, or who can do the best Australian confectionery collaboration that really resonates with a wider audience.
“In terms of the Instagram page, I was inspired by this guy I met on tour who has an account called @chipsontourdude where he reviews different chip flavours, naturally. Also this YouTube show called The Pengest Munch where this bloke reviews different chicken shops in London.”
Big scores are rare on Romer’s page, but they’re not unheard of. Last year, Oak’s limited-edition Lime Spider milk earned a favourable score of 8.3 out of 10, with Romer noting, “Very true and authentic flavours of a good ol [sic] fashioned lime spider. The raspberry spider that oak [sic] does I f**king hated quite passionately because the creamy vanilla vibes mixed with the fruit just strait [sic] up did not mesh well but this one is spot on! Tastes like a splice if that’s ya vibe but definitely go cop this one.”
Conversely, Big M’s Bubblegum Zooper Dooper gamble didn’t quite pay off, earning a meagre 2.6 and the ire of Melbourne’s most feared milk critic: “It f**king sucks bubblegum is a f**king toy as flavour and whilst I have to tip my hat to Big M on this one for originality it’s gross.”
Perfect flavour balance is a trapeze act that has plagued kitchens since the dawn of time, but according to Romer, it’s not the only factor separating the good milks from the bad.
“For me, initially what I’m looking for is how true to the name the combination is. Are all the flavours pronounced? Is it cohesive, and are any elements getting lost? Is it overly sweet or artificial? Stuff like that. My all-time favourite promo milk is the Chokito Oak which was around in 2019 or 2020. Most hated to date was that Bubblegum Zooper Dooper Big M: puerile and disgusting. And the most surprising curve ball that got thrown last year was the Brownes Dairy Gold Smooth Caramel White Chocolate. The highest score on the page to date I believe. That flavour combo traditionally is not my bag whatsoever but I was thoroughly impressed.”
As the ARIA award-winning Amyl and the Sniffers continue their urgent rise to the summit of present-day rock, so too does Romer as the country’s preeminent voice in the promotional-milk space – a landscape, he suggests, that could do with more fruit. “I mean, I’m a huge sucker for banana milk, so anything involving that is usually a quick way to my heart. Apart from that I wanna see more collaborations with existing brands and products that are staples on the shelves of Australian supermarkets.” Your move, milk.
Follow Gus Romer’s milk reviews on Instagram at @outofmilkm8, and stream Amyl and the Sniffers new album Comfort To Me here.